Oh, sorry

There are many phrases and gestures that I have noticed I have picked up from living here. But one of my favorites is saying: Oh, sorry.

Let me explain. On my first trip here, I realized that when I would drop something, the nearest Rwandan would say, "Oh, sorry". I would laugh and say, "I dropped it, why are you sorry?". Or I would smack my funny bone on something. Again, "Oh, sorry". "But you didn't do it, it was me who smacked my own funny bone." I didn't get it.

Oh, sorry isn't an admittance of guilt here. It is a sympathy gesture. For example, I'm sorry you dropped your phone and the battery just flew across the room...again. Or, I'm sorry you are coughing your brains out and you seem to be in pain.

I believe that the short phrase "Oh, sorry" or "I'm sorry" has so much more meaning to me now than ever before. It is taking a moment to empathize with someone. Stopping to realize that the stranger beside you might be experiencing an emotion of frustration or pain. 

So when I come home this summer to visit and you drop your cell phone and the battery flies across the room and I say, "I'm sorry". Just know I am empathizing.

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