Over the hills to the village I go

Over the last couple of weeks, I have had the opportunity to visit 3 different village areas. The first was to meet the child that my family sponsors. You can read about that unique introduction here. The second was with one of our teammates as they were taking one of the guys who works for them to see his family. And yesterday, I went with two of the ladies from the PEACE THROUGH BUSINESS project I have been working on the last 3 months. On this trip I learned a lot.

One of the women wanted to do a clothes collection and distribution for a local village. I thought we were going on Thursday just to distribute the clothes, but was I in for a surprise. As we made our way out to one of the ladies’ farm about 20 minutes outside of Kigali, we arrived and she proudly presented us with her “piggery”. She started about one year ago with 2 pigs and now has about 20. I got to see pineapples grow (I thought they grew on a tree). And then we sat under a tree. I wasn’t sure exactly what we were waiting for or really what the plan for the day was, but it was a beautiful view, so I sat. It is really hard for me to just sit. I reached for my phone and see if anyone has called or sent a text. I took some pictures. I asked questions of the people around me. I probably annoyed them. So, I tried to be quiet and just sit.

After a little while, some ladies started walking up the road into the farm. The owner of the farm says we should join together because we are going to talk with them for a little bit. After about 25 arrived, she and the other PEACE THROUGH BUSINESS graduate began to talk with the ladies. It was all in Kinyarwanda, so I had a translator. 

They began to ask the ladies what they hoped their children would become, they were trying to get them to think about not only their futures, but also the futures of their children. “A thief” one lady says unashamed. Do what? As the discussion continued, the ladies talked about domestic violence perpetrated against them by their fathers, brothers and husbands. Do what? And how there was a time when those ladies had to walk very far to fetch water, but now that wells had been built it has isolated them from each other. As they would go on those long walks they would share their heartaches with each other, because it was the only time they could talk about issues like domestic violence. What? I thought building wells was a good thing. Thankfully, the government has been doing campaigns and are trying to educate the public about domestic violence.

They continued encouraging them to join together as a workforce and come up with an idea to make money. The ladies explained how they worked very hard, but never had any money to show for it. One of our friends asked how much they make on an average month. “10,000 a month” one lady responded. That is about $17. It cost me about 35,000 to fill up the tank of my car with gas.

My mind was running a million miles an hour trying to solve their problem. I listened as the ladies said that they have tried to come up with ideas, but they needed training. Training, we’ve got that. That is what the graduates of the past PEACE THROUGH BUSINESS classes have been working on. I looked at my friends and said, “We can do that.” They shushed me! How dare they? I have great ideas that can solve their problems! So I leaned back in my chair, sat and listened.

They explained that they were quieting me because it is important for one of them to volunteer to lead the group. One who will take the responsibility for organizing them and holding them accountable. So, the conversations continued. My friends told them they needed to bring money together, pitch in what they have and invest in something together. I thought, “We could match that money and help them!” But by this point, I decided just to listen. One of my friends whispered in my ear, “You need to say something.” Do what? I thought we were just coming to give out clothes. <long pause> I looked at them as they waited for me to speak and noticed one lady’s shirt, “One Million Women’s March/Standing Together”. I called her over, speaking in phrases so it could be translated.

“You are wearing a shirt about one million women standing together. <pause for translation> You have expressed that you have no value. <pause for translation> But I have come with these two ladies who believe in you and want to see you succeed. <pause for translation> There are many women from your village that aren’t here and are not getting to hear from these amazing business women. <pause for translation> But you, you are different. <pause for translation> You are here. <pause for translation> Standing together <pause for translation> There are a group of people in America who have sent me here to help you help yourselves. <pause for translation> They want to see you succeed. <pause for translation> You are great! <pause for translation> I know you work hard and if you come up with one idea, these two women will come and help you, train you to not only take care of yourselves, but also your children. <pause for translation> They are waiting for one of you to say that you will be in charge and then they will help you. <pause for translation> Who will stand? <Big hand movements, waiting for several to jump up saying they would take the lead…pause for translation>” No one spoke. No one jumped to their feet. They just sat.

I was confused. One of my friends whispered, “They are scared. Scared that if they commit here that when they get home, their husbands will not allow it.”

I think I hit myself on the forehead at this point…literally. Why could they not go home and tell their husbands that they wanted to be a part of this great group who was going to help their family? I looked around at their faces, into their eyes, their clothes, their babies strapped to their backs…I was not in Oklahoma. So I sat quietly.

There was more discussion and going back over some of the things we had already talked about and finally, one young lady in the front raised her hand. I thought she had a question, but she was raising her hand to commit. She wanted our help so bad, by raising her hand she was saying, “I am committing to face whatever consequence so that I can make for myself and my children a better future.” They explained to me she was committing to be the leader. I ran over and shook her hand. I was glad I was wearing sunglasses, because tears welled up in my eyes. “Then we will come and train you,” I said. <pause for translation> Smiles, claps and cheers rang out from the group!

The leader began writing down everyone’s name, so she would know who was there and who was committing to be involved. The meeting was over. I said, “Ndashaka photo. (I want a photo)” They all laughed, smiled and agreed.

My friends told the ladies that we had brought some clothes for the community and they needed help giving them out, so each would leave with a pile of clothes that they could give out. They explained to me that they just empowered them with something that others would want and that would give them leverage within their own village. Wow. How silly I am to think that we were going to possibly set out the clothes and let them get what they needed for their families. It was the most orderly distribution of things I have seen yet.

I stood off to the side. They didn’t need to see me handing out clothes; they needed to see my Rwandese friends empowering them.

As we were getting into the car, one of the ladies invited us to her home to buy some vegetables. My friend explained that we needed to support her, because she was bold enough to ask. I looked at the clock on my phone and knew I had Bible study starting at my house shortly, but I was trying to learn from my friends. Of course I would get some! I was thinking vegetables—carrots, maybe some spinach, possibly corn? She took us behind her house and showed us a leafy vegetable that has a stalk of celery. I was excited because I haven’t seen celery that had a reasonable-sized stalk. I was already tasting celery and peanut butter in my mouth. It wasn’t celery. It was something else, so I said sure I’ll take some and give to my local friends who would know how to cook it. We also bought some Doo-doo; the translation is “weeds”, but it is actually a green that is cultivated. I’m not a fan, but I knew it would be a good gift. And then the beans, pulled by the roots in the ground, still in the pod. This woman was already motivated to step up, so of course we supported her.

As we headed back into the city, I looked at my friend and said, “There are many who will sit in a room and plan for years, but will never actually accomplish what you just accomplished.” I leaned back in my seat and smiled.

It was a good day and I’m learning to just sit, listen, and learn.